The wedding weekend has come and gone and I'm still standing. When my doctor approved this junket, he warned me to be very careful around people. How careful can you be when you're seeing relatives and family friends you haven't seen in years? Not very. I was crazy to think I could engage in safe social intercourse.
It was an orgy of personal contact. I was hugged and kissed and spoken to up close. I found myself in hot rooms with many bodies. My only prophylaxis was to practice shallow breathing, inhaling so shallowly I felt dizzy. I'm sure my doctor would classify this as high risk behavior.
I was told over and over that I look fantastic, something I began to see as a left-handed compliment of sorts. Did I look good considering what I've been through (a comparatively low bar)? I began joking with my husband that the unspoken part of the compliment might be "for someone who'd had one foot in the grave."
I'm being uncharitable. Most of these people would have paid me the same compliment even if I hadn't been to hell and back. It's just something you say, a matter of normal niceties, except that I'm not normal.
Right after the wedding (which was lovely, by the way), I felt truly ill. I think it was a combination of poor food choice, anxiety and exhaustion. It was also the first time I've worn pantyhose in three years.
It'll be a few days before I'll know if my behavior has any negative consequences. In the meantime, I'm remembering how good I looked.