Thursday, December 16, 2010

Why I'm Here

Sometimes I wonder why I've survived thus far. Good doctoring, the bottomless love and support of family and friends, my relentless nature? Beating a dead horse is a specialty of mine. It runs in my family. Our motto: never let it go.

Did leukemia take a powder due to my endless bitching about despising the disease. Even wicked stem cells must reach the point where they can't stand their inhospitable host anymore. Why won't she just shut up/give up already? We could mount another attack, but man, she's toxic. What about that radiation she willingly subjected herself to mow most of us down? Like a suicide bomber who miraculously survives the explosive device, she walked away with just a few burn marks.

I was reading today how the government is going to try to educate the public about what to do in the event that a nuclear bomb explodes nearby. The concern is that people will panic and do the wrong thing, which is to flee. What you should do in the event that you're not vaporized or turned into a krispy kreme donut? You should stay in your car, if that's where you are. Stay in your house/apartment/work location for several hours while the radiation radiates. This requires an equanimity many of us don't possess.

Here's what I'm going to do if The Bomb spares me. I'm going to make an extra dry Beefeater martini straight up and I'm going to party my brains out. Or what's left of them.