Monday, November 2, 2009

Monday Afternoon

Here it is Monday late afternoon, and I'm in the kitchen with Marty, who's making lasagna. We're listening to Ruben Blades sing a little salsa. What's missing is, I'm not nauseated, haven't been in one whole week, and in fact have no idea where the emesis bucket is. Until a week ago, that pink basin never left my side.

With the sudden exit of nausea and it's violent concomitant effects, I feel like a new person. When you're in the throes of illness, it's very difficult to imagine the day will come when you don't want to throw yourself under a train. Everyone else naturally gives copious amounts of encouragement, which only makes you feel more ill, more isolated, even angry.

Less time being sick means I have more time to do things I like to do, more energy to spend doing things I haven't had the desire to do in the past few months. I'm almost living. I can now sit down to dinner with my family and do more than push the food around my plate like a 2-year old. I can stay up and watch ballgames (though not to the very end), and witnessed Andy Pettitte hit an RBI-single and eventually score. I went to a cross-country meet on Saturday, and actually broke into a trot so as not to miss a viewing point. I'm enjoying my son Mark's Fall break, the first time I've seen him since August 30. He has traveled many miles (most via subway), but I think it's fair to say I've covered a lot more ground.

To all you recent transplantees (and their caregivers): hang in there. It generally does get better. You have to believe that wretchness isn't your new permanent state. This is a mental feat that's highly challenging when you're sick and weak. No one will blame you if you rail and wail and growl now and then. I certainly won't.

10 comments:

Kat and Craig said...

Hi PJ

My husband (who also has AML) and I have been following your blog for the last year and I don't really know why I have never posted a comment before. You and my husband have been on similar courses this year with relapse, re-induction, and transplant. I suppose it has been comforting to check in on you now and then, our secret buddy.
You make us laugh. And we cheered when we read that you were being released from the hospital.
Your link sits on our bookmarks bar, nestled between our online banking and dictionary.com. All this to say, your progress has become important to us, complete strangers, through what you have shared and how you share it. So thanks.
We are so glad to hear you finally have relief from the nausea and you are coming back to life. You and your words are an inspiration.
Thanks again!

rebecca said...

Good news! Now I don't feel guilty rooting for the Phillies.

Ronni Gordon said...

Glad to hear you're feeling better. I remember one recent transplantee telling you that the nausea would pass, and voila, it has. It's such a good feeling. Keep on enjoying life!

Anonymous said...

Now this is really good news! Very glad to hear it. It's going to get better and better. I personally am living the best time of my life right now. If I had to go through transplant for that, it was well worth it. Enjoy your food, enjoy your life! Brenda

George Jempty said...

I'm glad you're feeling better and look forward to visiting in in late Jan. Love....George

Sarah said...

I am happy to hear you are feeling better. And almost as happy to hear that it's okay to vent and complain... yes those of us going through this process need to stay positive and keep putting one foot in front of the other... but the process sucks and sometimes acknowledging it is the best medicine.
Hang in there. Believe it or not I'm a Red Sox fan rooting for the Yanks. Maybe it's my donor's cells!
Sarah

Jason said...

Hi Aunt Patty! It's Jason. Uncle George told me about your blog since I just wrote a paper for my writing class about my whole ordeal. I'm glad to see you're doing well and I am too for the most part. Looks like you have the same humorous outlook as I do and people must think you're crazy for it like they do me =) Must be a Jempty thing. Well my email is jemptyj@gmail.com if you want to say hi or something. Take care!

Ken said...

Hi Patty,
Wonderful to read your last couple of entries. Progress in progress is a wonderful thing to behold. It was great to see you and Marty, but even better to know that you've improved so much since then.

Anonymous said...

Just read Monday's post and yesterday we got a date for my husband's transplant. Thanks for the inspirationals post. I needed it today. Be well!

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