Monday, July 7, 2008

Accepting Things I Cannot Change

Okay, so 26 miles was a bit much. After spending most of Friday inert, and some of Saturday in a minimally functioning mode, I have to admit that the bike ride was over the top no matter how well I think I feel. I should have worked up to it slowly, or done it on a day when the temperature was lower. I should have done it 20 years ago when I was in my 30's. Mea culpa.

I finally put my running shoes back on yesterday after a 2-day hiatus. This morning I also ran a couple of miles, so I think the bike trauma is behind me. Thanks to help from Marty, the windows are now sparkling clean. Mark and Harry finished the demolition of the front garden and we now have a wood pile stacked high out back, our possible heating source for the cold winter ahead. I plan to ruminate a little about the eventual garden we'll put in. I'm thinking about something soothing, a spot that will be a contemplative place, perhaps a zen garden.

I need some time in a zen garden, a time and a place outside myself and my pedestrian concerns. A peaceful refuge where thoughts don't turn to cancer. A place where the angst of guiding children through the Scylla & Charybdis of the teenage wasteland can float up and fly off with the hummingbirds. We've called off our trip to go college sampling because our son thinks we're dumb and only he knows what he wants in terms of college. We're putting him in charge of figuring this out, which hopefully means a coach will actively recruit him, fill out his applications and petition guidance and the college board to file the necessary paperwork. He'll figure it out. He's very smart and knows so much more than we do about this than we do. How did we get so dumb?

I just took a deep cleansing breath, but I'm not there yet.

1 comment:

Jim said...


Hopefully, your son's adventure will be like a bird leaving the nest instead of a wildebeast leaving the herd. What's the saying?? "You learn better by failing." Something like that.