Friday, May 14, 2010

Hospital Gowns

Call me crazy, but I've been meaning to write about hospital gowns for some time now. I'm tired of them getting a bad rap. Or is it a bad wrap? Turns out, according to a lone internet opinion, the correct phrase is bum wrap, which hospital gowns notoriously don't do. Personally, I thought the phrase was bad rep, and being the anal person I am (ahem ...) I was forced to research which usage was correct. I've lost you, right?

Hospital gowns are not known for their sartorial properties. They barely give coverage where some of us need it most. But they are designed that way. On purpose. They have all kinds of really important features, some to make life easier for medical staff, but some for the patient, too. If you're hooked up to intravenous meds and you wake up in the dead of night drowning in perspiration, you can unsnap a hospital gown and put on another without being disconnected. And they have a nifty pocket through which your line passes so that you don't have it snaking up through the top or down under the bottom of your shirt.

Well, you might be thinking, I didn't have an intravenous line, so why should I have to be subjected to this poor excuse for pajamas? Surprise! You can wear your own pajamas, although they might get a bit of bodily effluvia on them. If that's not acceptable, you can wear two gowns when you go out into the hallway for your exercise. Or a robe. Why not don a cool pair of hospital pants with a plain t-shirt and pretend you're a member of the staff? You see, there's nothing to complain about and much to be thankful for.

I'm currently reading a book that blathers on about hospital gowns, an otherwise good book that got my ire up. It's not even the patient's opinion. That's what kicked off this diatribe.

Thank you for putting up with me.


Ronni Gordon said...

I used to wear soft yoga pants and a T-shirt or hospital pants and a T-shirt and switch to a gown at night in case I sweated or otherwise made a mess.

Ah, the good old days.

George Jempty said...

good one about the bum wrap or lack thereof