Jiffy Biopsy

Today I had my 13th bone marrow biopsy, a baker's dozen. One can only hope it's tossed in for free. Usually, my doctor's assistant does it, but she had a baby recently and is not yet back at work. So the transplant doctor himself performed the necessary but somewhat barbaric procedure, the doctor who's called all the shots regarding my care (recommending an experimental chemo cocktail when I failed first induction, rejecting the 10/10 donor match as not quite perfect, choosing the umbilical cords that came closest to matching each other and me, orchestrating post-transplant drug therapy) but who's never actually touched me except for listening to my ticker once or twice. The man is incredibly cerebral, focused and wastes no words, no time, no emotion.

Have you ever done one of these? I quipped as I lay face-down on the procedure table. I admit, I was a little worried that his technique was possibly rusty. You have to trust the person who's piercing your hip bone with a 6-inch needle. I didn't have much time to worry though; it was the quickest biopsy I've ever had. Numb the area with novacaine, insert needle, 3 quick plunges (ouch!) and it was done. Did you get the bone chip? Yes, a nice one. It was over so fast, the pain was so short-lived, I wasn't sure I'd actually had the procedure. But I had. A 20-minute bone marrow biopsy in 5 minutes. Nothing wasted. No words, no time, no tears.