What a difference five days make. When I left here last week to enter the hospital, my yard was still cloaked in grays and browns. A little warmth and a bit of rain have transformed the place into a lush green landscape punctuated with pink blossoms, arching forsythia and the occasional daffodil and hyacinth. For the first time in years, the dogwood is actually blooming. In contrast, I was a picture of rosy health last week, and am now reduced to a barren landscape.
I'm parked on my chaise longue feeling like a slug, and probably not looking much better than one. On one hand, the toxins are exiting my body; on the other, my counts are dropping and I feel listless and unmotivated. I have surrounded myself with heady reading material. Even if I fail to turn a page, I am among books I hope will lend me the gravitas I currently lack.
Kafka on the Shore is providing me with gruesome scenes involving cat decapitation and quirky plot twists. I have no idea where this book is going, but it's certainly surprising. In the What Was I Thinking Category, I ordered Infinite Jest from the library, a 1000+ page footnoted tome I've been planning to read for some time. Now that I have the luxury of huge blocks of time waiting to be shaped and managed, I hope to finally tackle this heavy book. And I do mean heavy. I can barely lift it.
Time for a nap.
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3 comments:
take the nap- your body needs to rebuild and that takes more energy than anything we could fathom.
be good to yourself- listen to your body
you are surrounded all around by love and healing thoughts
lea
Glad you got to go home. Be easy on yourself about the reading. Find something really easy. When I first picked up a heavier book during my big hospital stay I couldn't unerstand a word. I was pretty frustrated. Maybe some short stories? Later I got back to it and enjoyed it a lot. Did you read "Unaccustomed Earth" by Jhumpa Lahri? They're long short stories, very interesting and well-written.
Spring has sprung for you too, PJ. You will come out the other side of this strong and blooming like the plants in your garden.
Be gentle with yourself and take it easy.
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