Friday, May 22, 2009

Tortured Notes

They're trying to kill me here. They've made me into a sad and grumpy borderline maniac. Tell me if this doesn't resemble waterboarding.

They're pumping me with fluids even though my fever has been gone for almost 48 hours. I spent the entire night peeing like a horse and drowning in my sweat. I dreamed about floating down a river. I was in an aqueous dishumor.

This morning when my new nurse walked in (her name is Cherish), she mentioned something about hanging my next bag of meds. After my harangue about how the dam was about to break, I said I was pretty sure that antibiotic had been eliminated. Off Cherish marched to call my oncologist and the Infectious Disease Doc.

Good news: no more iv fluids, and yes, that drug is out. The complaint switch is stuck on the on position.

My doctor wants to keep me here over the weekend. I'm already a piece of heavily crazed china bordering on breakage into a million pieces. I'm going with Psycho Girl when he comes in. The problem is, I'm so angry my acting skills might be shot. Should I perhaps roll up in a ball on my bed and be mute? Should I be a fire-breathing dragon and go for the burn? Rational logical charming PJ's not working for me here. Dragon or fetal curl?

No woman, no cry.

24 comments:

Ronni Gordon said...

Good you spoke up for yourself.
You;ll be out soon.
For now, breathe. Count with me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Jim said...

PJ,

I like that you are venting. You're an unhappy camper, and you should be.

The name "Cherish" has so much symbolism, it makes me almost giggle. When I saw one of Dori's nurses earlier this week, I just squeezed her silly. The word "cherish," in fact, comes to mind.

Know that we are with you as you continue to try to maintain a sense of normalcy in a place that's tough to achieve it. But like you've told me before, my money's on you.

Jim

Daria said...

When I was in the hospital with my CVC infection, they pumped me up with so many fluids, my toes looked like fat little sausages and my ankles disappeared.

It was crazy.

Ann said...

You can try what I did. Look the doctor in the eye and tell him that for the sake of your mental well being that you need to get out. Convince him that you'll eat and drink better when not confronted by hospital food and foam cups. Insist that you've been fever free for over 48 hours, thereby surpassing their criteria for keeping you there. Lastly, promise that you will return if you start running a temperature. Best of luck.

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