Freedom lasted 28 hours. At least I had a chance to see my white azaelea in full bloom and enjoy a few meals. My temperature just kept climbing and I had no choice but to head back to my cell.
Sunday passed in a delirious blur. I finally mustered the wherewithall to start receiving some real pain meds instead of mere Tylenol, which when your fever is 103-104 is akin to putting a bandaid on a gushing wound. We settled on Percoset, and let me tell you, I had much better pain relief. The only problem is that no one had the cujones to actually write an order for this drug, so the nurse had to request it one at a time. Unfortunately, my doctor was away for the weekend. Sometimes the Percoset came too late. It's really true that you have to stay ahead of the pain.
A bit of good news arrived Monday afternoon with the report that I actually have some neutrophils showing up in my blood. They're the infection-fighting white blood cells that are the body's first line of defense against intruders. In theory, once these babies start being cranked out in larger quantities, my fevers should become just another nightmare memory to paste in my Bad Times scrapbook.
Today has been a much better day--no real fevers, although I recently registered a 100.6. But something got my blood pressure up today, and I want to unload my anger about it here. The hem-onc fellow came to see me this morning and it did not go well. First he told me I shouldn't be taking Percoset because it doesn't work for me.
Oh really? I was too polite to say, how the hell do you know, although I did insist it took a big dent out of my suffering. Apparently, pain is bad; but suffering is just part of the human condition and we must bear up under it.
Then he tried to delve into my psychological well-being, suggesting I consider taking an anti-depressant. Let me suffer but keep me numb. This was starting to feel like oppression. I told him I'd once tried Lexapro, but after 2 doses had to quit because it made me feel physically awful. He doubted that of course, saying how it was such a clean drug. Maybe he takes it.
I'll spare you the rest of the arrogance. Dr. Luvstosuffer ended up canceling the order that some doctor had finally written for Percoset as needed. I'm still fuming. I know I should just let it go, but I can't.
Update: my doctor came to see me a little while ago and re-wrote the order for Percoset, which with any luck I won't even need.